If you let go, you'll be ok
If you let go, you'll be ok...I promise. I know this because I have and I'm still here to talk to you about it today.
If you're anything like me you need to be in control, control of situations and in control of others happiness. It's taken me a long time to realize that it's not my responsibility to make sure everyone is happy, getting along and doing well in their own life. Although as a loved one I know it's right to help people I love and want the best for them, I'm learning it's not my responsibility.
Many of us have loved ones or even friends that are hard to love. You may not agree with their life decisions, how they handle their finances, parent, or even how they dress and carry themselves. As a person who cares deeply I have tried so hard to change all of these things in these particular people in my life. It's never worked and in the end I was the one who was unhappy.
I grew up with two parents who were addicted to drugs and alcohol. From a very young age I knew they struggled. I tried to change them. I tried to change their behavior, change their decisions and change the way they parented me. No matter how hard I tried my methods never worked.
It wasn't until I was about 24 years old that I realized I had to let go for my own happiness. The year after I graduated college my dad became very ill. He ended up needing a liver transplant due to years of alcohol abuse. He was near death when by the grace of God he was saved all thanks to a selfless organ donor. I remember during this entire ordeal I was so mad. I kept saying to myself, "See Dad, If you would have just listened to me this never would have happened. I had to put off starting my career in order to take care of him. Once again alcohol and drugs were negatively affecting my life. After surgery and some very long months of recovery I learned this wasn't my lesson to teach my dad. It never was. It was his own to learn.
Once my dad healed and moved back home to Las Vegas I was afraid to leave him. I wanted to get a new job and finally start my life but I felt crippled with fear. Would he drink again? Would he use drugs again? Would he screw this all up and we'd have to go through it all again?
To make a long post short... I took the leap. I got my first job and moved away from home and my parents for the first time. For the first few months all I did was worry, but that worry soon turned into freedom. I feel a lot of my childhood and into my college years was spent worrying about my parents. I missed out on activities among many other things because I just wanted to get home to check on my parents.
Once I finally started to let go I started to grow into my own person and create the life I always wanted. Letting go wasn't only for the relationship with my parents. I tried to use the theory in all aspects of my life. I taught myself to let go of things I can't control and I'm 100 percent happier because of it.
I don't want this to come across as if I'm saying to stop caring. You'll always care and that's ok, but if you change your focus and let go, you'll be ok.
DM
If you're anything like me you need to be in control, control of situations and in control of others happiness. It's taken me a long time to realize that it's not my responsibility to make sure everyone is happy, getting along and doing well in their own life. Although as a loved one I know it's right to help people I love and want the best for them, I'm learning it's not my responsibility.
Many of us have loved ones or even friends that are hard to love. You may not agree with their life decisions, how they handle their finances, parent, or even how they dress and carry themselves. As a person who cares deeply I have tried so hard to change all of these things in these particular people in my life. It's never worked and in the end I was the one who was unhappy.
I grew up with two parents who were addicted to drugs and alcohol. From a very young age I knew they struggled. I tried to change them. I tried to change their behavior, change their decisions and change the way they parented me. No matter how hard I tried my methods never worked.
It wasn't until I was about 24 years old that I realized I had to let go for my own happiness. The year after I graduated college my dad became very ill. He ended up needing a liver transplant due to years of alcohol abuse. He was near death when by the grace of God he was saved all thanks to a selfless organ donor. I remember during this entire ordeal I was so mad. I kept saying to myself, "See Dad, If you would have just listened to me this never would have happened. I had to put off starting my career in order to take care of him. Once again alcohol and drugs were negatively affecting my life. After surgery and some very long months of recovery I learned this wasn't my lesson to teach my dad. It never was. It was his own to learn.
Once my dad healed and moved back home to Las Vegas I was afraid to leave him. I wanted to get a new job and finally start my life but I felt crippled with fear. Would he drink again? Would he use drugs again? Would he screw this all up and we'd have to go through it all again?
To make a long post short... I took the leap. I got my first job and moved away from home and my parents for the first time. For the first few months all I did was worry, but that worry soon turned into freedom. I feel a lot of my childhood and into my college years was spent worrying about my parents. I missed out on activities among many other things because I just wanted to get home to check on my parents.
Once I finally started to let go I started to grow into my own person and create the life I always wanted. Letting go wasn't only for the relationship with my parents. I tried to use the theory in all aspects of my life. I taught myself to let go of things I can't control and I'm 100 percent happier because of it.
I don't want this to come across as if I'm saying to stop caring. You'll always care and that's ok, but if you change your focus and let go, you'll be ok.
DM
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