Pull the weeds

Pull the weeds

Go back to summer of 2020. It was a few months after I gave birth to Millery. It was a hot Arizona day and I was alone. 

At this point my then husband was in a treatment center for substance abuse. I had just had a baby and was in the midst of a global pandemic. I felt helpless. 

We lived on a 1 acre property with a home that required a lot of maintenance. My forced instant sole responsibility of a baby, home, bills, and his company left me feeling like I was under water. I was drowning. 

I remember this day so vividly. I was looking out my back window and couldn't help but notice how massive the weeds in my backyard had become. Some were taller than me and lining the wall. I couldn't stand looking at those weeds. They were ugly and unruly. I had a strange connection with these weeds. I felt they resembled the position of my life. 

That day I put Millery down for a nap, grabbed gloves and a shovel and went out back. From the first pull, the first sweat bead fell from my head. Followed by more and more. My clothes soon became soaked with sweat along with my face from tears falling from my eyes. 

I remember being so mad. Angry, real anger. With each pull and strike at the weeds anger left my body. I was mad at the world. Mad at the heat. Mad at my then husband for leaving me in this situation. Mad at myself for letting these weeds get so out of control. 

After about an hour of back breaking work I saw nothing but clean dirt. The dirt was blank, bare. At its side sat the massive pile of weeds. They were gone and in a strange way so was some of my anger. I felt cleansed. 

It hit me. If I would have just pulled one weed at a time as it popped up, my task wouldn't have been so exhausting. The path would have been easier. 

I started to relate this to life. If we just pull the daily weeds that pop up how much more peaceful our lives would be. If something comes up and we let it fester it will grow so out of control we may not be able to see a solution in site. We may not have a tool big enough to get rid of it. 

This is something I still struggle with, but hoping I can remind myself of this day often so I can keep life's weeds at bay. 

Pull the weeds and feel the peace.

DM